Introduction

As 2025 comes to an end, I want to put into writing what I learned in this transformative year.

This year came with many surprises, and I find good value in some of my learnings from them. In a nutshell, the year started with a plan to live in Paris, with my girlfriend, for the next 3 years, completing a PhD. It was a good plan, and we really were happy with what we had coming.

In April, I got back to Spain for Semana Santa, and had the time to reflect about what I was living and whether it was what I wanted or not. The conclusion was: it wasn’t. Next week I resigned. Started looking for a job.

4 months, many unanswered applications, some failed interviews, and many courses and books later, I got a job, but not in Paris, not in Spain, not in Europe: in Dubai.

Losing Confidence for the 1st Time

During my PhD experience (7 months), loneliness and frustration became too much of a norm for me. I had no colleagues, and my supervisor made me feel like I was not doing enough. It’s hard to understand this when you are living it, but it’s easy to see it in retrospect. I was being used and undermined.

I thought this might be the normal PhD experience, and those feelings were my fault. That I could do more. If I was always able to be a top performer in the past, and then I wasn’t, the problem must have been my attitude, or my approach. I had to give more. However, more was not enough, and the thinking time I had in Semana Santa helped me realize that the problem was on the other side of the equation.

This was the first time in my life that I felt like I was not enough. I had lost confidence in me. This lesson was tough to learn, but I have it tattooed in my heart now:

Confidence must be independent of external opinions: it must be me to evaluate, with an open and honest mind, my competence.

Fear as a Fuel

Fear #1: Resigning will be like giving up.

Fear #2: Resigning will be seen as a failure, hurting others’ perception of me and my CV.

Fear #3: Not being prepared enough to apply to certain jobs/companies.

Fear #4: Rejection.

Fear #5: Failing after several rounds of interviews.

Fear #6: Accepting an offer that changes all my plans.

Fear #7: Moving away from my girlfriend, risking all we fought so hard to achieve together.

Fear #8: Hurting her.

Fear #9: Not performing strong enough in my new role.

All these fears made me stay alert and sharp. They helped me plan the steps I took. And to build up my confidence again. These fears are my fuel to act as my best possible self, and I am proud of them. They mean I am able to step out of my comfort zone, evaluate my situation, and try to improve it. With fears, and balls.

Fears are a signal that I am stepping out of my comfort zone. They tell me I need to be careful and evaluate the situation thoughtfully. Fears don't stop me, they fuel my actions.

Thankfulness

Being prepared is not always enough to reach your objectives. There are many aspects that we cannot directly control, yet impact our lives very strongly.

  • Having someone understand and support me helps me to dream big, yet have my feet on the ground. I have to thank my girlfriend for her support, which, at the moment, I can only repay with the promise that I am trying to build a better future for us.

  • Having enough money to not rush a decision out of necessity. For this, I thank technology and the great opportunities that it creates. I have been lucky enough to find some side gigs that made my transition smooth.

  • Having someone believe in me with their resources to help them achieve their vision. My bosses and mentor at Cobblestone Energy are giving me the trust to build with them, and I really appreciate this chance.

  • Having luck to just be in the correct place at the correct time. This factor is always hard to evaluate, and I somewhat agree that luck is built by persevering. However, I recognize the randomness in this world, and how it landed on my side at some important times this year.

Being thankful helps me stay humble, value what and who are valuable, and understand how I can help others.

Conclusions

I lost my confidence and had to rebuild it.

I have several fears about all the unknowns, which are fueling my path.

I am thankful for all the good things I have.

2025 was definitely not what I expected it to be. It really was a rollercoaster, and it really challenged me. At the end, it put me in a great place, where I can fight for a better future with better tools. I hope my experience can be helpful for someone, as I had not heard before some of these things that I had to learn the hard way.

For a 2026 full of surprises!

PD: ChatGPT says it’s clear in the post that English is my second language, and that it can help me polish it. I think everything is understandable, and I like my “broken” English with questionable translations from Spanish, so be it.